I may offer my hand, but every moment brings change. I will keep moving forward with those changes, even if it seems like I'm in the same state. A hand refused is not the same result as a hand never offered, and the result is different for both sides.
I've been through a lot of challenges lately. I like to think that I'm always challenging myself to be a better person. However, most of my challenges come from dealing with things outside of my control, like other people, most commonly. I've learned to accept the realities that I can't change, so when I face negativity, I have learned to roll past it. I choose love over hate.
I have heard that I'm strong, but I feel weak. So often, I have thought about giving up on difficult challenges. I fight for truth, know that things will change, and believe in love. Sometimes love is not enough.
She let me be as one with her, and I lost myself for the first time in the essence of another. I knew I would never be the same. How can you mature with someone as one heart, and then be completely apart, without depressing pain? I have surely lost the essence of myself as I grow older. I have already lost the love of my life, twice, causing my blood to run colder. Now I see the cycle repeating with others: more of my will decaying with their more rapid departures. What you see before you is a soul stripped bare: my gender an expression of my life without a care. A rare smile is strained. My hair is chopped off. My skin color is drained. My grasp feels soft. Do you see what is missing? I have tried to find myself, but I can’t replace the one I miss kissing. Everything I am is a reference to a memory. All that’s left of me is one half of a pair that used to be.